my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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