How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
