Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
