You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
