I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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