Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
