she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
