Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
