do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Found the puke drawer
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
