We're facebook friends in real life
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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