so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
