Me. At least after what I've been through.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
