oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Ā
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
