i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Enjoy the penises
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
