We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
