Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
