Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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