Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
