Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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