I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
