Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
