I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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