also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
