Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
