im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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