this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
