Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
