I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
