Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
