$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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