if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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