There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
