just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
