just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
