no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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