It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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