I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
