I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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