I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
