I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
