is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
