Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
