Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
