He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
