I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Randomize
