That's when you crack a 10am beer
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
