Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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