Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
