Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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