after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
