In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
