I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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