are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I met the friendliest cop last night
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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